I’ve been an athlete for as long as I can remember, and my competitive persona eventually led me to hook a scholarship at my dream Division 1 university. I remember growing up and hearing stories of how hard you have to work as a student-athlete and all that predictable jabber, but little did I know that I would one day be sitting here as a spring-semester senior, reminiscing about the most chaotic, abundant, exhilarating four years of my life.
I won’t get into all the sappy “swimming is more than just a sport” and “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone” crap, but I will get into some of the hilarious quirks I’ve picked up being a student-athlete on a large campus.
First, having NARP friends is an anomaly.
What is a NARP you may ask? It stands for Non-Athletic-Regular Person, but the term just flows out of my mouth like any other common word in the dictionary at this point. Yes, it’s arguably derogatory, and yes, it may be completely untrue and offensive to some, but I find it so hysterically hegemonizing of us to have coined such a term. By “us” I don’t just mean swimmers, or Penn State athletes, but I mean this term is used by every college athlete across the country.
We certainly do not shun or hate on NARPs, but we rather marvel at them. Going out on a Thursday night? Incredible! Having class from the hours of 2-5? Shocking! Paying a house full of Greek-lettered business majors an absurd amount of money for companionship in return? Legendary.
I have a good array of NARP friends from class, and I absolutely love hearing about college from their point of view. Bring a NARP friend to an athlete party, and they’ll be welcomed with open arms and a million of the same questions. “How do you make friends?” “Don’t you have endless time to do homework?” “Do you like… go to a gym to work out?”
Quick PSA: if you're a NARP looking to buy some school merch, save yourself from the judgment, and DO NOT buy the same gear that the athletes get for free.
Second, college athletics is like going to a really fun high school. Everyone knows everyone, and if you don’t know them, they probably play golf.
Every team definitely has their favorite teams to hang out with, but for the most part, we all like to get a taste of every sport’s vibe. That being said, there are the douchebag teams, popular teams, lazy teams, wild teams, ignorant teams, and straight-up weird teams. You can use your imagination to connect those dots.
Call it incest, but it’s no secret that all athletes date each other, and I’ve come across quite the crazy amount of love triangles, hexagons, and octagons in my years. Then, of course, you get a few outsiders or “cleat chasers” who involuntarily set themselves up to be fed to the wolves (or lions).
Dating in college is a tricky game as it is. Try adding 800+ high intensity, competitive, big-headed individuals to the mix.
Thirdly, roster pictures are NEVER good references. See a cute player? Fine, look up the roster to get their full name, but DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT rely on that fluorescent, shiny-forehead-looking photograph. Consider yourself the world’s luckiest athlete if you take one good one in all four years. And no ladies, the height is almost never accurate.
Finally, we are die-hard fans of each other, and would probably fight to the death for our school. Okay, this might just be a Penn State thing, but if you are not at every big home game until the very end, talking mad shit on the other school, you don’t deserve to wear navy and white. I cannot express the emotional and psychological trauma that I would have to endure if my future child wants to be a Buckeye *insert gagging noises*.
Although my days as an athlete are officially dwindling down, I refuse to picture myself without my sport. I am and always will be that swimmer who had a dream, but soon I’ll be that swimmer who lived her dream. Sure, COVID-19 made things a bit more difficult to enjoy and achieve, but it also was a blessing in disguise.
With the Olympics being pushed back a year, I can hold onto my athlete identity a few months longer, as I train for the 2021 Olympic Trials. As I laugh to myself, 95% certain that I won’t make it to Tokyo, I am self-dedicated to running from NARP-hood as long as I can.
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